Review of Dr. Jennifer Fraser's book
Teaching Bullies

5.0 out of 5 stars  A great resource!

By Alicia H. Clark, PsyD on June 7, 2016

An important read on the dangers of bullying at the hands of trusted coaches and teachers, and a powerful call to action to name (and stop) it. For parents and educators alike, this book exposes a prolific culture of bullying under the guise of "old school coaching," dives into the prevalence and background of a topic we wish didn't exist, reminds us to pay closer attention to the emotional health of our children, and inspires us to act.

5.0 out of 5 stars It's time to Teach Bullies (especially Coaching Bullies & Teaching Bullies) that's it's NOT COOL, not to BE KIND! 

By The Empathy Guy on August 8, 2015

♥ a former Professional Athlete, who played Baseball @Ucla, and had the Privilege of being mentored by Coach Wooden (*Ahem* Who won 10 National Championships, with only Love, Discipline, & Kindness), it hurts my Heart that young people are the recipients of emotional & physical violence, at the hands of those who have SO much influence & leverage over their Academic & Athletic careers!

What Doctor Fraser lays out in 'Teaching Bullies: Zero Tolerance On The Court' is an amazing story of what happened to 14 Brave young Souls, who had the courage to (like Apple says) "Challenge The Status Quo". She explains the particulars, and delves into the Psyche of the Athletes, of the Parents, of the Institutions (who collectively contribute to the culture), and even the Authors of violence, themselves!

If you're the recipient of perpetual hazing (aka bullying), you need this book! If you're the Parent of a child in that situation, you need this book! If you're a new Parent who wants the best for their Children, you need this book, and if you're an Author of violence that wants a way out, you also need this book! Thank You Doctor Fraser for illustrating the challenges we face, sharing your personal story, offering Compassion, and delving into policy adaptations to address the issue of 'Teaching Bullies'. May we all learn to #BeKindAndListen

5.0 out of 5 stars Two Thumbs Up!

By Gina Rolkowski on August 8, 2015

Most deep life altering wounds created by bullying often hide in the delicate developing brain of victims. This invisibility allows for “normalizing” the horrific act of bullying. In fact, it creates a space for the very word bullying to mask the truth that bullying = abuse. Imagining bullying/abuse from the child’s perspective: Who do I go to to help me when the very people who are supposed to help me are the ones hurting me? Sit with that…

Teaching Bullies offers just that: a safe place to sit with the discomfort and awareness that bullying is indeed abuse and it must be stopped. Dr. Jennifer Fraser’s Teaching Bullies bravely begins with Fraser’s frustrating, firsthand appalling experience with her son’s coaches, the lack of response from school administrators all the way up through to the Ministry of Education, and moves into the unbelievable stories of the re-victimization of the boys who so courageously came forward. The message of awareness becomes clearer as she focuses on recent eye-opening brain research related to the physical impact bullying has on the teenage brain and offers specifics related to how to change this cycle by outlining specific skill sets for adults in the role of coaching. A must read for school leaders, policy makers, parents and coaches, Teaching Bullies transforms the horrific experience of 14 bullied boys into a powerful, hopeful call to action.

4.0 out of 5 stars Dr. Fraser presents a series of case studies considering ...

By Steven R. Shaw., PhD on August 28, 2015

Dr. Fraser presents a series of case studies considering bullying by teachers, coaches, and peers. Creating a childhood free from authority figures who are intimidating, creating trauma, and discouraging is her primary goal. She presents a compelling and readable account of exactly the type of trauma created by harsh teaching and abusive coaching tactics. I hope that her message is accepted by all--to be an academic or athletic success high standards are required, but abuse is not necessary and is counter productive in both the short and long term. Supportive coaches are winning coaches. Supportive teachers are successful teachers. The culture of teaching and coaching needs to change and Dr. Fraser has created a compelling case for change.

5.0 out of 5 stars Adult Driven Abusive Behaviors Must be Eradicated: Blame Students No More

By Rick Jetter, Ph.D. on November 28, 2016

Shifting gears from conceiving bullying as a child issue (that we must eradicate), Dr. Fraser presents a twist that is both thoughtful and poignant: Bullying stems from adults. It is modeled by adults. It is picked up by children. It is a learned behavior. This book sent a chill up my spine and placed a new call to action within my bones for anti-bullying reform and advocacy.

5.0 out of 5 stars Kudos to Dr. Fraser 

By Randy P Nathan on September 3, 2015

Bullying in Sports is real!! Kudos to Dr. Fraser for raising awareness on this very serious issue. This needs to be required reading for all athletes, parents and coaches at all levels of sports!

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book about bullying, should be required reading for coaches and teachers

By Amazon Customer on March 14, 2016

I read this book for research for my novel about bullying, and I loved it. It's fascinating and has amazing research! I've read a LOT of books about bullying, and this one was very different. It has specific information about dealing with sports and classroom bullying from adults, but is also relevant to peer bullying. This book should be required reading for every coach and teacher, in my opinion.

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all educators!!

By Amazon Customer on September 5, 2016

This book is a must read for all professional educators, coaches, Athletic Directors, administrators, parents and anyone else involved in the development of students or student-athletes. Dr. Fraser gives her unfortunate experience dealing with teachers and coaches who take on the role as bullies and gives an in depth look on the process of bullying and how they get away with it. Being an all around athlete growing up, I truly agree with this book and it gave me so much detailed information about how adult bullies, both teacher to student and coach to athlete, operate and the long term damage it causes. She does a great job pin pointing emotional abuse and its' comparison to physical and sexual abuse which I believe not many educators/coaches are aware of. The time for "old style coaching" has long been over and really should have never occurred in the first place. Being a teacher and coach, I am very interested to the future research and studies of emotional abuse from adult bullies so that all educators and coaches become more aware.

5.0 out of 5 stars A book for all parents.

By Josh Chisholm on May 8, 2016

Teaching Bullies is as much a textbook look at the corruption that hides in our school systems and the lagging laws to protect students, as it is a deeply personal insight into a family's plight. The prose is both technical and painfully emotional.
We all want to believe that we are sending out kids to a safe place in our schools. Sometimes evil hides in the most inconspicuous places. Every parent needs to read this book!

5.0 out of 5 stars Abusive coaching has long-term effects.

By Lorna Stremcha on November 22, 2015

Teaching Bullies Zero Tolerance on the Court or in the Classroom chronicles 14 teen lives as they maneuver their way through the arduous grievance process set by schools and courts. Jennifer Fraser Ph.D. shows the emotional effects abusive coaching/teaching has on a young mind.

She clearly demonstrates through documentation and testimony how some student athletes perceive their coaches as “God like” and the dangers of such a mindset.
The emotional effects abusive coaches have on athletes are likened to the abusive effects a child experiences growing up in a violent household.

The ball players in Teaching Bullies, much like a child living in a violent home, fall prey to depression, embarrassment, and worry, to name a few. The social effects are much like an individual that experiences workplace abuse/bullying are, but not limited to; isolation, low self-esteem, withdrawal, and trust. Although the 14 athletes are subjected to such abuses and ostracized for taking a stand they muster the courage it takes and should be role models.

Everyone deserves the right to feel safe and be treated with respect in our schools whether in the classroom or on the court. Jennifer’s book is a must read for anyone that cares about the education system.

5.0 out of 5 stars providing sad real example of how even much younger athletes still ...

By George Stockus on August 8, 2015

An important read for coaches, teachers, school administrators, government education regulators and sports psychologists.

Anyone associated with sport can appreciate the positive life lessons in hard work and constructive minded coaching. However what happens when lines are crossed, and coaching masked as tough-minded is destructive, abusive? Dr. Fraser explores real life implications of lines crossed and institutional short-comings in addressing such problems. High profile NCAA cases have maybe elevated this conversation some but Dr. Fraser goes further, providing sad real example of how even much younger athletes still endure bad and harmful coaching experiences in high school or club sport levels. Systemically we must do more to protect kids.

5.0 out of 5 stars Critical Questions for Parents and Educators

By HS on September 16, 2015

Format: Paperback|Verified Purchase

In Teaching Bullies, Dr. Jennifer Fraser identifies the essential, moral question of the 21st Century:

How do we prepare our children for a tough, cruel, global society, where ISIS runs amok, social media aggrandizes dangerous behavior, and governments control their citizens through intimidation?

Do we abuse our youth by “toughening them up” using degrading techniques or do we empower them with the life-enhancing ability to choose fearless and determined independence?

In my opinion, the latter holds more value.

Coaches are responsible for the development of student character. Dr. Fraser makes an effective case that the goal of prep school athletics, believe or not school administrators and alumni, is not about winning championships. It’s about 360 degree, community-based child-rearing.

Whole brain child neuroscience teaches us how teenaged brains function, how they can be wounded, and how they can be healed. Dr. Fraser posits that we may not be able to prevent abuse in society but we can equip ourselves and our children to minimize the damage and to claim ultimate victory over those who would destroy us for institutional preservation purposes.

She demonstrates how the freedom to choose our response to aggression gives us transformative power. When we decide to fight for our dignity using our knowledge and skills, we cannot hear the taunts from Trumpish courts chanting “loser.” Instead, we possess the power to redefine the situation and to move into more healthy and rewarding situations. Even those who find themselves in the most traumatic situations can reach for meaning in their lives and discover sturdy hope.

I realize this may sound arrogant as my traumas and those of high school athletes are, after all, first world problems and healing is accessible to all of us. But, Dr. Fraser’s book and its many references to the work being done by neuropsychiatrists makes me wonder if perhaps my personal and professional emphasis on intervention and prevention was not misplaced.

Power structures always insist on the demonization of others. Perhaps child and civil rights advocates would better spend their energy making legal systems responsive and providing greater accessibility to the therapies that have been proven effective? I do not have the answer to this question, but Dr. Fraser’s journey stimulated the query.

And. Isn’t that why we read heart-wise books like Teaching Bullies -- to identify patterns and create strategies that work?

Thank you, Dr. Fraser, for your courage in sharing your thought-filled journey.

Harriet Showman
writer and creator of book and artwork
former executive director, Children’s Trust Fund of South Carolina

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for parents

By Amazon Customer on November 17, 2015

I had to stop reading after the first chapter. I had tears welling up in my eyes remembering what my youngest son had to go through. Being verbal abused/degraded with other basketball players and being denied an opportunity to compete for junior varsity; a right he and others earned. Hearing parent feared retaliation against their kids if they complain. Seeing and experiencing the walls of silence and protection go up. As a parent being denied access to people to report this abuse. Sitting in front of the athletic director as he said the worse things about my son. Feeling helpless and realizing the parents were right about retaliation. Knowing that there were adults who were willing to hurt my son for voicing concerns about abuse. Realizing how many parents and teachers were willing to look the other way. This happen in 1998/1999. Jennifer's book is talking and identifying teacher bullies/abuse that has been around for years. This book should be reading for all parents whose children play sports. All teachers need to read to be part of the solution not part of the cover up. Coaches should read it to remember who they are coaching and why they are coaching. Jennifer talks about the psychological and physiology effects of bullying and abuse on young men and boys. Her book is must read and should inspire all of us to fight bullying and abuses in our school and playing fields.

Zero Tolerance in the Court and in the Classroom is excellent. Her writing is smooth and professionally flows putting ...

By Margot G. MacDougall on September 27, 2015

Dr. Jennifer Fraser's book: Teaching Bullies: Zero Tolerance in the Court and in the Classroom is excellent. Her writing is smooth and professionally flows putting everything out there. It brings out so many more questions about society and life. Abuse is horrific and terrifying. The victims are "attacked" yet again by our courts for speaking up. Strange society we are. How can we change the "system"?

5.0 out of 5 stars The story of a courageous family confronting teacher/coaching/bullying. This ...

By Vin Coyne on November 4, 2015

The story of a courageous family confronting teacher/coaching/bullying. This book is concisely written from a personal perspective and is supported by exhaustive research. Teaching Bullies makes for compelling reading.

5.0 out of 5 stars building better and more accountable models throughout many of our school

By Jane Hutton on October 22, 2015

Jennifer's well-researched approach and personal truth about this critically important topic creates a powerful story, The book is both an academically rigorous document, as well as a tale of family and professional courage. Through specific and heart-wrenching experiences, she makes a strong case and an impassioned plea for action. I hope we all hear the message, building better and more accountable models throughout many of our school, civic and judicial systems, protecting our children as the highest guiding principle. I thank Jennifer and her family for standing up and speaking out!

5.0 out of 5 stars Teaching Bullies tackles subject matter that NEEDS to be discussed by parents, schools and ultimately lawmakers.

By Kathryn Slakov on October 14, 2015

The author explores the power teachers and coaches have over our youth and the damage that can be done when that power is abused. Emotional or verbal abuse is hard for anyone to fend off but children are particularly vulnerable and as such need to be more protected by society. The author makes this issue tangible for the reader by using her own personal experiences both as a teacher and as a parent. She tells the story of how ongoing verbal abuse endured by high school athletes (and her own son) at the school where she herself was a teacher was dismissed despite the concerted efforts of parents and in particular 14 courageous student-athletes who came forward to document their experiences. Teaching Bullies, well researched but still very accessible, explores the vulnerability of the adolescent brain and the permanent damage that this type of abuse can lead to .
Having personally experienced (from my own teenage years) the negative power and influence teachers can have over their students and the resulting scars that can be left I highly recommend this book and hope it initiates greater awareness and in the end positive change to the justice system.

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent - Five Stars!

By Heather on August 10, 2015

Timely, thoughtful and extremely well-researched.
A very compelling, readable book.

5.0 out of 5 stars worse, have seen their child do so

By John B. on August 8, 2015

Cutting edge. An important read for any who have experienced abuse at the hands of a school coach or, worse, have seen their child do so!

I found this book informative and somewhat chilling when I ...

By Dorothy Gurney on October 7, 2015

I found this book informative and somewhat chilling when I consider what we have "always" accepted as the normal course of things. Thank you Ms. Fraser